Gay Cars and Trucks

The American Family Association announced this week that it plans to boycott one of the country's top gay automakers. Ford recently announced plans to rollout five new gay automobiles, hoping to grab a piece of the market share currently owned by the Toyota Prius, the nation's unofficial top gay car.

A pro-family group plans to ban more gay products, including the Segway scooter, KitchenAid mixers, and the ubiquitous 'biPod'

By Deanna Swift

DETROIT, MI—The American Family Association (AFA) announced this week that it plans to boycott one of the country's top gay automakers: the Ford Motor Company. In a statement released to the press, the pro-family AFA criticized Ford for supporting gay marriage and giving millions to gay causes, and panned the carmaker's new line of gay and lesbian cars and trucks.

This is just the most recent in a long line of boycotts launched by the conservative action group against companies perceived as too gay, too dirty or too satanic. Earlier this year the AFA announced that it wasending its campaign against Procter and Gamble after that company agreed to end its long-standing support for the Church of Satan.

More gay boycotts on the horizon?
Regardless of whether the AFA is able to pressure consumers not to buy or drive gay cars and trucks, observers say that the group's latest boycott is not likely to be its last. The pro-family group is also said to be contemplating campaigns against several other American manufacturer that make and market gay products. One likely candidate: the Segway, a two-wheeled, self-balancing, scooter recently voted top electric transportation device by gays.

No mixing please
The AFA is also said to be exploring a possible boycott of several product lines manufactured and distributed by KitchenAid. On the chopping block: several of the company's Tilt-Head Stand Mixers, available in shades of pink, metallic, and fire-engine red, and believed to be very popular among gay men between the ages of 32-48, especially those who live in large urban areas.

Families against 'bi-pods'
Finally, the AFA is expected to announce a boycott later this summer against Apple's high-profile and best-selling digital music player, the iPod, known to its many fans as the 'biPod'—a nod to a recent survey indicating that as many as 64% of the hipsters that sport the ubiquitous white head phones identify as bisexual.

Popularity of gay cars swells
But it is the AFA's new ban on Ford's gay cars and trucks that has set the tongues of industry analysts wagging. They say that say that the ban on Ford's gay cars and trucks is unlikely to sway the automaker, pointing to the company's recent announcement that it plans to rollout four new gay automobiles. With its new line of gay vehicles, Ford is hoping to grab a piece of the market share owned by the Toyota Prius, the nation's unofficial top gay car.

Here's a look at some of the new gay brands that could be swinging into a dealer near you as soon as next fall. [Click thumbnails to enlarge images.]

PowerStroke—for her
In focus groups conducted by the automaker, lesbians gave strong favorability ratings to Ford's Super Duty, praising its massive torque of its PowerStroke Turbo Diesel engine. Said one soon-to-be owner of a shiny new truck in dark green satin: "I've never felt so in control before. I can finally be the diesel dyke I've always wanted to be."

S is for 'sinner'
Gay men in densely populated urban areas are raving about the new Ford Synus (they've already rechristened it the 'sin wagon.') Fave features: an interior that can transform into a mini-home theater (perfect for porn) and club lighting that flashes to the beat of the techno music these drivers are sure to be listening to.

Driving both ways
The first sedan designed to explicitly appeal to the bisexual consumer, the Ford Fusion is for drivers who go both ways—but still crave the practicality of a family car. Committed 'bi,' or merely 'bi-curious,' you'll be sure to appreciate the Fusion's sensuous interior.

Wanted: gym bunnies
You: sleek, buff, and super-sexy. Your car? Ford's new Shelby, an ultra-sleek, dramatically muscular vehicle, perfect for the gym bunny who is out on the town. This cute coupe is wrapped in a sleek, muscular aluminum skin left bare and polished bright. Ford recommends that you drive it the same way.